It’s Monday, so, It’s Magical AU time! 😀 Some fun chibis with Phichit and Yuri ^w^ Then some insta stuff with Victor! :DDD Stylized nails for him and Makka ❤
Winged eyeliner a tale of Youtube makeup guru perfection, Phichit
blinked at his roommate, who had come diving in through the front door.
The front door which had been slammed with enough force that Phichit
expected the super to come bursting through in demand that they “take care building like baby, understood? Building your baby, do not slam baby!”
with his hard Russian accent and all. Raising one of his on-fleek
eyebrows, Phichit found the straw of his bubble tea with his tongue and
sipped. “Say that again.”
“Yeah, got about none of that. Breathe. Victor what?” Phichit said, chewing through a mouthful of boba.
Yuuri breathed. His chest huffed and heaved, arms and legs spread in
braced stance against the door. Like he too was expecting the super to
barge in. Phichit suspected, however, that this was for a different
reason. Yuuri had said the magic word. The magic word being Victor.
Yuuri’s crush on the internet celebrity was a fraction of a size bigger
than the entire Milky Way Galaxy as calculated by Earth acres. Not that
he’d admit it to anyone other than Phichit.
Nostrils flaring and a gleam of light sparking off his glasses, Yuuri
stood up straight, like a soldier prepared to go to war.
“Victor.Nikiforov.Is.Our.New.Neighbor.” He enunciated each word with
pointed pauses between syllables.
“Victor Nikiforov?” Phichit repeated.
“Yes.”
“Instagram Victor.”
“Yes.”
“Cutest dog on social media five years running Victor.”
“Yes.”
“Victor ‘I, Yuuri Katsuki, would suck that dick drier than the Atacama Desert’ Nikiforov.”
“Please stop quoting that, I was very drunk when I said it.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
“Victor is the person who moved in next door?”
“What do you need, Phichit, a neon sign blaring above my head?! Yes,
that Victor! He is next door, right now, with his dog and his arms full
of Eros fan merch.”
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy – ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”
we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”
Sometimes I answer my cell phone with “thank you for choosing Taco Time, what can I get started for you?” And inevitably there’s a dead silence for a moment where the person calculates what happened and I prepare to get laughed at.
I was also answering the phone at the bank once and got as far as “Thank you for calling po-… (bank name).” They realized I was about to fuck it up and I didn’t have the balls to admit I was about to welcome them to pokemon. I was thinking about other things. I still don’t know what happened.
I work at a shoe store and we’re required to ask customers for their phone numbers before checking them out so they can get coupons. I was checking a lady out today and she said no thanks to giving me her information, and idky but that part of my script stuck in my head and when her receipt printed out, I asked her “do you want your phone number with you or in the bag?”
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