Category: Uncategorized

beesbeesbees:

ladymacbette:

deliverusfromsburb:

My brother shared another great DnD story with me. 

So the adventurers had picked up a girl who’d caught cold, and as she was coughing some guy on the street offered her candy. Naturally, as they had been well trained by their parents, they refused. The guy apologized and clarified. “My name is Nicola Ricola,” he explained, “and these are my newly invented cough drops.” 

Since he’s just starting his business, he needs money, so he asks the adventuring team to help him raid an ancient city jampacked with treasure. Once, a long time ago, a king demanded he be buried in a huge pyramid + enormous city complex. He got a bunch of slaves to start building, but died partway through construction. They kept working, but the force of his greed was so great that even when they died they got up and kept working. So there’s this ancient city being constantly expanded and repaired by an army of dead. And of course it’s jampacked with loot.

So they raid the place, and as they’re headed out Nicola mentions in an aside that he’s glad that curse wasn’t true. They pressure him, but he just says something is supposed to happen to anyone who steals the treasure, but they’re fine. 

A while later, he contacts them again asking for protection duty. Something has been killing off other members of the expedition. They take shelter in a room and then hear something banging down the hallway toward them. The door flies open, and the king’s sarcophagus pounds into the room. It deflects all their attacks with its evil magic, until Nicola flings a cough drop at it. Then it turns and bounces away again, never to be seen again. Because nothing stops a coffin like Ricola.

I just have to make my peace with the fact that my brother is a better DM than I will ever be.

@recreationalcannibalism