There’s something intensely unhealthy going on when parents discourage age-appropriate independence. A 13 year old should probably be allowed to go see a film with their friends most of the time. A 16 year old should probably be allowed to drive/ride a bus/bike to a friend’s house most of the time. An 18 year old should probably be allowed to travel overnight with their friends most of the time. A 20+ year old should be allowed to come and go as they please, with some common-sense “Let’s talk this ‘move to Finland’ plan of your over before you follow through on it” exceptions.
Parents should want their children to enjoy going out and doing things on their own and with their friends. They should be delighted that their child wants to have a life of their own. A rich, fulfilling life outside the home and distinct from parents and family is important, and parents should want their child to have that.
Ok hold up for one second, let me take a short break from sowing the
ground with salt to ask: did anyone else notice how when Tony says
something like “Pepper and I are …” Steve “conceal-don’t-feel” Rogers perks right the fuck up and goes “PREGNANT??!!?!”
I say this in utter seriousness*: in the .5 seconds between “Pepper and I” and “are on a break,”
the only thoughts in Captain America’s head are “BABY! BABY! OH
BOY! UNCLE STEVE! OH BOY!” Like good lord this man is so sad and
lonely that he lights up like a goddamn lava lamp at the mere prospect of being in proximity to family life. He parents the fuck out of
Scarlet Witch, he attempts to parent Spider-Lad while the kid is attacking him, he would probably parent
Iron Man if Tony would just hold still long enough. There is literally no
one on earth more prepared than Steve Rogers to bring someone out for
ice cream after they don’t make the football team and tell them that
he’ll always be proud of them no matter what. Captain America has got this, his body
is ready, he will be unconditionally loving and supportive to the entire
state of Minnesota, he will diaper Yellowstone National Park, he is
fully prepared to help Guam with its math homework.
If the answer to Steve’s question had been, “Yes, pregnant!” Civil War
would not have happened, because Steve would have brokered a peace in under 20 minutes, and the rest of the movie would have been
nothing but Captain America shopping for
onesies while Falcon and the Winter Soldier give each other nuclear
wedgies and Iron Man finally gets himself some therapy. Unfortunately, as there is no baby, Tony remains a man-sized pile of emotional rubble,
Bucky ends up armless and frozen instead of enjoying hours of playing punch
buggy with Sam while Cap threatens to TURN THIS CAR AROUND RIGHT
NOW, and Steve has no adorable little StarkNugget to bounce on his knee and teach
to play stickball and give all of the love in his giant patriotic heart.
In conclusion: everything is terrible, and T’Challa needs to buy Steve
an incredibly expensive Wakandan puppy or something before he starts
attempting to nurture that giant panther statue in the front yard.
Bucky: (side-eyeing Sam) (speaking in Russian) So Natasha, what am I supposed to do with this Sriracha stuff?
Natasha: (in Russian) It’s spicy, put it on anything, it’s really good. Why are you glaring at Sam like that?
Bucky: (in Russian) I’m pretending to talk shit about him. Is it good on eggs?
Natasha: (in Russian) Oh, fantastic. I’m going to glare at Steve and pretend to talk shit. Yes, it’s great on eggs.
Bucky and Natasha: (scowling at Sam and Steve)
Sam: The fuck is going on over there.
Steve: I don’t know but I don’t like it.
Bucky: (in Russian) This is the most fun I’ve had since 1944.
Natasha: (high-fives Bucky)
I had this girl in my class and she was considered to be like really dumb. She’d ask a ton of doubts and questions in class, which everybody would consider to be “stupid"and “silly” and even the teachers would often taunt her but she’d never stop asking. But the thing was that she’d almost always top the class examinations and everyone was like???? They all thought she was cheating and stuff and obviously even the teachers were very biased because she wasn’t so ‘smart’ in class, and she was regularly accused of cheating. But nobody could prove that she was actually cheating but the whole class and teachers totally believed that she did. I’m pretty socially awkward so I never really talked to her, but she was leaving school this year and I was genuinely curious about how she was so good during exams and how she didn’t let everyone’s remarks affect her. She always used to sit and hang out with only one girl, and she told me that that friend of hers was severely socially anxious and she’d lag in studies because she couldn’t bring herself to ask doubts in class or ask for help from others. So they had this system where during lectures her friend would write down any question she had, and she would ask them for her. And I was just so touched??? Idk but it really changed the way I looked at people?? This girl endured taunts and jeers and borderline bullying for being “stupid” when she was actually really smart and could easily have refused to ask such doubts for her friend but she did?? And brushed off everything others would throw at her for her friend?? I was just, idk it just really changed me in some way.
Being in a mid-2000s High School Health class and they show you this on DVD
Didn’t that turn out to be a load of bullshit that no-one can replicate the results of to this day?
Yep! His results were faked, and the entire film was basically anti-McDonald’s scaremongering, “poor people are stupid” and “fat people don’t get any sex”. It’s also thanks to this asshat that McDonald’s can’t advertise fuckin’ Happy Meals anymore and had to get rid of all their characters and their super size option, particularly because he claimed without evidence that they have a kid-fattening agenda, don’t list their nutritional info anywhere and have a mission statement from their CEO to make people sick and unhealthy from eating there for every single meal. On top of this, he actually tried to claim in a bonus experiment that McDonald’s fries aren’t actually fries because they don’t rot when left in an airtight container for a long time but all the burgers do–which is thanks to the oil and salt they’re loaded with, not some big conspiracy where the fries, which are processed and supplied by McCain in Canada, aren’t actually goddamn chopped potatoes–and equated the containers to a human stomach. Yes, cause the human stomach is an airtight container that food sits in for months, right? Spurlock, did veganism turn your brain completely off or something? Hell, the fucker even tried to claim credit for McDonald’s having salads, falsely stating at one point they didn’t have any before he “exposed” their EVIL PLANS.
Yeah, that’s another thing to remember, he’s apparently a vegan. He didn’t let anyone know he’s one, of course, he only mentioned his girlfriend is one, because it would’ve made his vomiting after a single McDonald’s meal, something literally no one else on the planet has done, seem less ZOMG SCARY.
Want a good film of this nature? Try Tom Naughton’s Fat Head instead, a film where a guy actively proves Spurlock wrong by actually losing weight while eating nothing but fast food for a month. He accomplishes this by NOT fucking gorging himself on the unhealthiest food choices, eating more meals than he claims or cutting out his usual physical activity. While he’s at it, he also exposes exactly why Spurlock is a total fraud. In the process, he gets actual doctors and nutrition experts to help him explain why everything you know about healthy eating is probably wrong or half-true, inform us about good and bad cholesterol, expose the real reasons behind the so-called “obesity epidemic” and point out why fat =/= unhealthy by default. Yeah, Naughton encourages viewers to try the paleo diet in the end, but at least it comes off more as a suggestion and doesn’t demonize anyone in the process.
Wait, so this guy is part of the reason why we don’t see things like McDonaldland anymore, and why we only see characters like Ronald anymore, and are even lucky if we catch an appearance from Grimace or Hamburglar anymore? Well, if that’s the case, I officially consider him a douche because I loved McDonaldland growing up, even if I was introduced to it via that series of tapes The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald.
He’s a FUCKING MCDOUCHE AND WE GOTTA MCFREAKIN BURN HIM AT THE MCSTAKE
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