Fanfic warnings: *all the nasty kinks that will make u unable to look ur mother in the eye after reading*
me: that’s disgusting.
me: i’ma still read it tho, i’ma still read it

dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

• elbowing each other in the face
• leg cramps
• queefing
• accidentally pulling each other’s hair
• ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

• sleepy morning sex
• mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
• sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
• your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you

fiji-goddess:

– I usually am in an oversized tshirt with no underwear
– you can touch my butt all you want
– i never really leave my bed
– i’ll cook you pizza and a occasional unburnt cookies
– i have loads of blankets
– we can spoon all you want
– i’m a very touchy feely person
– i’ll make you mix CDs bc who doesn’t like those
– i like playing with hair
– i’ll steal your hoodies and tshirts

mrbenwyatt:

the three p’s:

• pizza
• pasta
• parks and recreation