Phichit: Today we answer the question y’all have been dying to know. Do figure skating legend Katsuki Yuuri got teh booty? We went on the streets to find out!
*cut to the world championship*
Phichit: So, do Katsuki Yuuri got booty? What do you think?
Chris: Oh yeah, definitely! Baby got back.
*cut*
Yakov: …. please go away.
*cut*
Milla: Thumbs up, I saw him skating today. It doesn’t disappoint. The booty is real.
*cut*
Yurio: OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME????
*cut*
Victor, tearing up: Phichit you don’t understand, I had to make powerpoints, slides, I have charts, I got pictures, video, photographic evidence to map the booty but it doesn’t make sense. The firmness, the bounce, it defies the realm of possibility, I stay up at night think-
*cut*
Michele: That pervert? Since Chris likes him, probably.
*cut*
Seung-gil: Why am I here?
Phichit, off-camera: I just wanted your face on tape you beautiful Korean man-bird.
*cut*
Phichit: So as we can see, popular opinion is that Katsuki Yuuri, ace of Japan, got dat ass. As we can see in this shot *picture of Yuuri’s butt* and this shot *close up*, and this shot *closer close up*, and this shot *just a black screen it’s so close*, Yuuri’s booty is a rare specimen of booty.
*cut to a shot of Victor gently weeping over Yuuri’s pants*
Victor, crying: I love him so much
*cut*
Phichit: So in conclusion, do Katsuki Yuuri got teh booty? Chris?
Chris and Phichit: HE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*Yuuri walks in on Chris and Phichit yelling, a shot of Yuuri’s ass on screen and Victor crying in the corner*
Yuuri: Phichit! What’s happening?? i think you broke my husband!! Is that my ass? what.
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